But that's not a sufficient excuse, i am sorry.
But that is not what this blog entry is about. it's titled "Sad weeks" (sounds like a band name)
I have been sad/confused and tried these past 3.5 weeks... ish. I have had problems with friends, (girls and guys) and it has brought me down. :( i know. I feel hypocritical because i always say, "YOU make the decision to have a good day or bad day by what you say." [hoping they choose the good choices] But i have been choosing the bad ones. And it's, i dare say, from the influence of others. And so this is my emotions... spilled out.
It all started with Nicole. The girl i thought i would end up dating. i liked her, she is cute, funny, and fun to be around. And Pono, by good friends since 6th grade. super witty and hilarious. We both liked her and we, you could say, fought over her, but in love of course. But after a while, i "lost" the fight. And obviously, Pono won.
This brought the first week of depression. not medical, i was just always down. But i eventually got over it, but someone else didn't.
Pono ans Nicole, one of the cutest couples i have ever seen. Always talking, always laughing, just so happy together... they never dated, and that was partially my fault. Let me explain. I was told my Nicole that she liked different guys, and that she had a past, but Pono was different. So i told Pono that (I was aloud to by the way) he was different, in a positive fashion. Pono being Pono, told Nicole and she got mad... at him. So long story short, "Pono and Nicole" didnt happen.
So then started the 2 week of sadness (There was a 1 week gap of normality between the Nicole depression and this one)
This was the week when everyone was just negative. No one was saying nice things. Which was weird because this was right after GiG week. There was just disses every which way anyone looked. And so i was trying to be a happy person... but all the negative people rubbed off on me, and i became one of them.
**Example
1) Sak (Masaki) Said that i "Didnt look good when you wear your beenie like that." (The way i have started to wear it) Thanks Sak! (Sarcasm)
2) Sak said, "I hate those shorts..." ... Those shorts, Sak, happen to be my favorite ones.
3) Pono, "yeah eric?" after being dumbfounded.
That was a painful week.
Then came the Facebook Status'
I tend to share my emotions in one line sentences. Simple but sincere. I just say something on my mind. And they are just left in the open for people to think about. But, it got worse...
Pono. my otooto-kun (little brother). I always wanted a little brother that was just so awesome and always fun to hang out with, and i thought i found one... but i have been wronged. Pono, after telling me he was "not jealous, but kind of" jealous of me talking to Nicole, started to be a jerk to me. Teasing me and all this crap, that i didnt deserve! So in order to keep my friend in a good mood, i stopped talking to Nicole. For my brother.
That's when things became awkward... per say
I use to skype with him, hang out with him, call him, and drive him places, but that suddenly and awkwardly just stopped. He claimed that he was kust busy, so i respected that and just txt'd him whenever i wanted to talk or just hang out. he rarely responded, and whenever he did, he only talked for 3-4 txt messages. I had a feeling he was lying. But i just kept thinking he was busy. And so, i just said to him, "We need to talk."
Talking
I say to him, "Pono, we need to talk. When can you call or txt or something?"
"I dont know. I have a game and homework"
"Ok that's fine." I said, with hesitation.
* * *
(over txt)
"Can we talk pono?"
"Not now" He said
"When then?" I responded
"Soon."
* * *
**Call from Pono Ng
And so i pick up.
"Hello?" I said, knowing he was there and who he was.
"What do you want to talk about. " He said abruptly.
"It's... personal." I said, hesitantly.
"Ok..." He said as if i was... stupid
"Is anyone around, or can anyone hear you?"
"No. what do you want to talk about?" He exclaimed.
"What is up with you treating me like this?"
"Like what," he said as if he had no idea, "treating you like what?"
"You know."
Basically, we talked about what we dont like. and so i ask.
"What do i do that annoys you?"
"There are just somethings you do that aren't my favorite..." He said
Are you joking? There are so many things that i just have to DEAL WITH with other people. i dont just treat them like a nuisance and treat them like junk, no, i set aside what i like, and hear them out and listen to what they have to say, endure the quirkiness of people and the weirdness that I MIGHT NOT ENJOY, but i suck it up and deal with it. and i think that appreciate that. And i am just happy. You dont, as a person, treat other people differently just because they dont do everything that you like. That's just wrong to treat anyone like that, ut to tell someone that, that's how you loose a friend. (Not saying he is gunna, but just sayin.)
That's all for now. But as of 2 days ago, i only said one thing to him, i wished him luck on his tournament. But that's the only talking i have said.
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